Posts tagged ‘solutions’

October 23, 2013

It’s Okay!

Its OK3Do you feel the pressure lately? Always? I’ve been doing pretty well with the ol’ balance game lately, but something happened to me yesterday. I walked into a store to fulfill some to-do list items and saw it. The Christmas section. A dagger of panic struck me and sucked me into a “running behind” feeling; almost like I did something wrong because I hadn’t yet thought about the holidays or decorating for Christmas. Then I looked to the left and saw the Halloween section still on steroids. I felt some relief. You realize we do this to ourselves, right? I started to wonder how much of the life pressures I feel are self-inflicted? Sometimes, it’s okay that we haven’t… fill in the blank. Does the world end? Chances are, no.

For the remained of my day, situations kept happening that elevated my concern. Internally, I replied, “it’s ok.” After a while, I made myself laugh because of how often I had to “talk myself down from a mini-panic.” I’ll share that I may have a problem here, but I am on it. So, in my A-personality, planning nature, I made a list of reasons it’s all going to be okay.

It’s okay if your house isn’t decorated for every holiday.

It’s okay if you skip a year of holiday cards.

It’s okay if you don’t post ‘Happy Birthday’ on Facebook for everyone.

It’s okay if you don’t check your email, social media, or voicemails on the hour.

Further more, it’s okay if someone waits for an e-response for more than a day. If it’s really important, they should call.

It’s okay if you spill something on yourself. Instant conversation starter!

Repeat to yourself, “It’s not devastating.” 9 times out of 10, it’s not, and if it happens to be that unfortunate, still say it to calm yourself a bit.

Its OK2It’s okay that you had to cancel. Apologize once, sincerely, and don’t make it a habit.

It’s okay that you’re milking another week out of your hair color/highlights; Create new up-dos.

It’s okay that you missed a workout. That becomes your rest day, and you’re still on track.

It’s okay if someone misunderstood you. You can’t control other people. Address if you feel it’s appropriate, or just let it go. Chances are, it’ll pass without effort.

It’s okay if you trip; laugh immediately. You’ll feel better.

Its OK

It’s not okay to be mean. Don’t be mean.

Peace friends—Lacey

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July 22, 2013

Psychology of a Hot Mess, Part 1

011

Yep, that’s me alright. At least the “mess” part. Oh, the frustration my loved ones and innocent bystanders must deal with when I’m left to my own devices. If you happen upon me while I’m on the move (which is most of the time), I appear to be in control and with purpose. But let me linger for a while, and my true colors come trickling out. I’m a very free spirit who is organizationally challenged.

butterfly free spirit

This dysfunction extends from my time management skills to the clutter that surrounds me. If I try to impose a schedule or list on myself, an even deeper part of me rails wildly against it. I hate structure, but apparently I need it. Sometimes I manage to march to the beat of other people’s drums. Most of the time, however, my best intentions are left trailing behind me as I rush to the next thing, late and flustered again. And the sad part is that no matter how bright things seem to be, my guilt and self-recrimination are ever-present and heavy.

Budda time

Friends, that’s no way to live! Surely I’m not the only one who struggles with the mysteries and frustrations of time, clutter, and accomplishing goals. So, I’m doing things a little differently these days, and perhaps some of my discoveries will help you too!

A New Perception of Time

I recently found a great blog that stopped me in my tracks. The post described people as being either monochronic or polychronic in the way they perceive and manage time. A monochrone is someone who sees time as linear and absolute, is usually very punctual, is more task-oriented than relationship-oriented, and often focuses on only one thing at a time. Monochrones are the splendid folks you see actually getting things done (in an orderly fashion) who are banging their head against the wall as they wait for the polychrone to finish something . . . anything!

late girl

Is this you?

Then there’s the polychrone, someone for whom time is not linear but cyclical and fluid. These people tend to work on many things at once, are easily distracted, and are often late. On the flip side, polychrones are fabulous at handling change, switching gears, and cultivating strong relationships. Time means very different things to these two individuals, and as you can imagine, they often make each other crazy. If you are a polychrone trying to navigate in our monochronic world, there’s hope! Here are a few tips I can’t wait to try out:

1. Stop Thing #1 before beginning Thing #2: This seems like common sense, doesn’t it? But what blew my mind here was that the tardiness of polychronic people is not an inability to begin or arrive at Thing #2 but instead a difficulty with stopping Thing #1. (Stop and ponder that for a second.) While monochrones are adept at finishing a task or ending a social interaction in a timely manner, polychrones find endings uncomfortable and difficult. I always thought I was imagining this, but nope, it’s a real sensation.

SOLUTION: Rehearse your exit plan before arriving anywhere—what you will say to others when it’s time to leave or what time you need to pack up to leave before you absolutely must be gone.

 

2. Plan your schedule backward from appointments: This suggestion is also a new one for me. Polychronic people tend to think of time idealistically instead of realistically, imagining the best-case scenario instead of all the possible pitfalls.

SOLUTION: So, if you have a lunch date at 11:30, figure out going backward how long it will take you to get to the restaurant—if there’s traffic or a wreck. Then, how long will it take you to gather your belongings to get in the car? What about a trip to the restroom to touch up your lipstick? See what I’m getting at? Just a new way of thinking.

 

3. Set audible alarms or reminders to transition to the next task: This suggestion is a good one, though not foolproof. I’ve heard recommendations to set multiple reminders leading up to the time you absolutely, positively must jet, but if you are anything like me, I have so many reminders on my calendar dinging at me that they sometimes melt into white noise.

SOLUTION: Prioritize those noisy alarms and abide by them religiously. Also, if you have a trusted monochrone friend who you are meeting, you might ask him or her to (kindly) text or call you if you are even 2 minutes past time. To avoid possible lateness, you might even ask her to text you when she’s on her way to meet you (a built-in reminder!).

reality check

I’m feeling really excited about trying out these new ideas. I’m sure the people in my life are cautiously hopeful as well. And if you have any solutions that have helped you be an awesome time wizard, I’d love to hear them. In the meantime, good luck and I’ll be clearing out my home office—my husband is still stunned. 🙂 Catch you next week!

Brooke