MANicures and Mistakes

french_manicure
            A small disclaimer before diving into this week’s topic: men don’t need to be cured, fixed, or polished. It is my opinion that men need to be allowed to be men. Some of my girlfriends are rolling their eyes at me as they read this. The second part of my belief is that if they are allowed to be men, they are happier, better partners in life, and that benefits us (ladies!) Whether you’re dating, married, or have male friends, I’m sure everyone agrees that it’s nice when the men in our lives are happy.

 

            I mentioned aloud that I needed to get a manicure (and pedicure) for an upcoming beach trip. To which, my husband admitted that he needed to drop some “winter weight” for the trip. When he asked what he should do, I recalled in my head the last time I tried to manage his nutrition and plan his meals. Epic fail. I pushed too hard, and I didn’t work with his personal boundaries. (e.g.; full-bodied, quality beer is a must, not light beer; eating meat isn’t a negotiable topic; and he’s not a runner, but he is a fast walker and a weight lifter.) I pushed my ideals on him and didn’t leave room for negotiation. We both were left frustrated, uninspired, and frankly… needing a stiff drink.

 

            In response to his comment this time about losing some weight before our beach vacation, I said, “what does that look like to you?” He explained his goal in specific detail. My second question was, “How committed are you?” To which he replied, “I’m not giving up pasta, and I’ll never eat kale… I want to have two beers three times a week… and I’ll work out five times a week for at least 30 minutes.” Since we had three weeks, this will work. Plus, I was more encouraged about his interest in healthier living, not just in the weight loss, so I got to work. The 80/20 rule fit in nicely with my husband’s nutritional criteria; Advocare’s multi-vitamins and Spark drink would ensure he received the minerals and vitamins he needed daily; and I made the commitment to do exercise time with him as often as possible for motivation, but also for accountability. I pulled out the most exciting and fun workouts I had, so he enjoyed the sweat time. When I would go for a run, he fast-walked with the pups, then we’d do weights together. Working our goals into our lifestyle is the ticket!

 

            Fast forward to three weeks later, my husband met his goal and felt a difference. The plan actually stuck around after the vacation too, which was an added bonus for both of us. Some other benefits were the struggling together during a set of jump-squats or bench presses; the singing out loud to workout music; the looks our pups gave us as we growled through the workout; the post-exercise glow we had when we met friends for a night out. When you look, feel, and perform your best, you do all of life better. Also, when couples sweat together, they stay together. We celebrated little triumphs like when we managed to make broccoli and other greens taste yummy, or when we added to our reps during a workout. We didn’t beat ourselves up when we missed a beat with our diet or exercise routine. And when he looked up at me from a bowl of his favorite pasta creation and said, “It’s my 20% babe…” I just had to smile.

 

     

Working out with a spouse (or friend, or child) is fantastic mutli-tasking! Quality time and a workout!

Working out with a spouse (or friend, or child) is fantastic mutli-tasking! Quality time and a workout!

My husband and I at a messy 5k showing it doesn't always matter who wins. If you're getting healthy together--everyone wins!

My husband and I at a messy 5k showing it doesn’t always matter who wins. If you’re getting healthy together–everyone wins!

Men and women have varying goals, motivations, and commitment levels. We’re each willing to give up different things. Conversely, we have those things we refuse to give up. My toes will always be ready for flip flop season, and my husband will always have his morning cup of coffee. The key is to find ways to implement healthier habits into your life together and to always keep first things first… like family, friends, and laughter.

 

 

 

 

Some FUN Q&A from Our Home to Yours

 

“Does golfing with the guys count as my activity?” Only if you do squats before you swing at each hole.

 

“Do the beers I have on our date nights count?” Not if we are both smiling and enjoying the time together. 

 

“Is all sugar bad?” Not if it’s in a dessert I want, and we share.

 

“The kids want to order pizza and stay in with us Friday night, can we eat that?” Yes we can and with gratitude over the fact they want to stay in and eat pizza with us. (This is a 20% situation.)

 

“What do you want to bet?” Loser has to do 25 pushups (especially funny if we are out in public.)

 

Keeping healthy is a family affair... sometimes it's messy, but we are committed!

Keeping healthy is a family affair… sometimes it’s messy, but we are committed!

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